The Un-ideal Birth

Loving the Birth You Get

 

I know first hand how painful it can be to come out the other side of your labour feeling like you've been robbed of your birth experience.

It can feel like you've been mentally beaten up & emotionally mugged. 

Let me tell ya, grieving and wrestling with a birth experience that you didn't want or expect puts a real kink in the beautiful, blissful postpartum period.

It stands in the way of bonding with your baby - my husband Kyle was the first person to be skin to skin with Ro.

It stands in the way of breastfeeding - it took me 8 longgg weeks to figure out how to breastfeed and heal the extensive nipple damage that came from weeks of an improper latch.

It stands in the way of healing - I couldn't even sit up in bed by myself for over a week. I was an overwhelmed new mom, and I had to lick my emotional wounds, as well as my physical ones. 

I still remember as they were giving me the epidural before my c-section, I was sure I would fall into a deep pit of postpartum grief and anxiety. But I don't want it to be that way for you if, heaven forbid, your birth does go sideways.

One of the most important steps to loving your labour comes AFTER the fact: loving the birth you get. 

I LOVE my c-section...now. I see now that it was the birth I NEEDED to propel me into my passion, my life's work. But it took me a while to get to a place of love because I wasn't open to the process beforehand. I went into labour with ONE possible outcome, and when it didn't happen it all crumbled down around me. 

We need to respect the majesty and the mystery of labour. It's not 100% up to us. Don't hold on so tight that it suffocates your experience.

YES, do EVERYTHING you can to prepare. 

YES do your absolute one-thousand percent BEST on the day of.

YES leave EVERYTHING on the table, and then...

Surrender. 

It's important for your life-long memory of your birth that you learn to make peace with the birth you end up with, no matter what your birth plan was.